Hosta La Vista Baby

Let’s Talk Hostas:

10 Things You Should Do Before They Take Over Your Garden (Again)

So ya…my mother used to say I’d lose my head if it wasn’t screwed on and now I completely understand where she was coming from —I wrote this post a few weeks ago, then forgot all about it. Typical. And now? My hostas have basically claimed squatters’ rights in the garden and are growing like they own the place. I’m guessing yours are doing the same.

You’ll have to ignore the bits about “watch for them popping up” because, it’s too late—they’ve popped. They’re already halfway to world domination.

Can you tell I’ve been spending a lot of time in my garden lately? 😂

Anyway, let’s talk about hostas, those magical green beauties that make us look like we know what we’re doing—when we mostly don’t. They thrive in shade, don’t ask for much, and basically come back every year without us lifting a finger. My kind of plant. (If you missed a lazy girls gardening you will want to read it) HERE

Still, these hostas deserve some spring prep so they don’t get completely out of control. Here’s what I (mostly) do every spring to keep mine happy and healthy—and to prevent them from forming a leafy uprising in the backyard.

1. Clear the Crap

Step one: get rid of the winter mess. Dead leaves, random sticks, maybe a soggy glove you lost in October—out it goes. Your hostas are trying to breathe, and they don’t need any compost right now.

2. Spot the “Noses”

Those adorable little green shoots poking out? That’s your hosta saying, “Hey girl, hey!”

Do your best not to step on them. (Not speaking from experience or anything… unless you count one muddy paw print and a squashed sprout.) 💕 🐕 🌱 🐾 

3. Divide If You’re Feeling Ambitious

Okay, this is optional—but if your hosta is getting a little too… enthusiastic, it might be time to divide it.

Does it look like a bread bowl with a hole in the middle? That’s your clue. Dig it up, slice it like a birthday cake, and either replant the chunks or give them to a neighbour. I divided a couple and placed them in my front garden. It’s the beginning of June and they are already seriously big. I got 4 plants out of one. 

4. Feed Them Something Decent

No, you don’t need anything fancy. A little compost, aged manure, or something from that random bag in your shed will do. It’s basically a green smoothie for your hostas. Keeps them glowing and smug.

5. Mulch Like a Grown-Up

A 2–3 inch layer of mulch helps keep the roots happy and the weeds confused. Just don’t pile it on top of the crown. Think cozy throw blanket, not weighted comforter.

6. Water Like You Mean It

When hostas are thirsty, they droop like they’re auditioning for a Victorian fainting scene. Give them a good soak a couple of times a week—like a deep, satisfying drink, not a sad little sprinkle. They’ll bounce right back. I like to water from underneath the leaves so they don’t get damaged. 

7. Fertilize (But Calm the F*** Down)

These plants are not high-maintenance, so don’t overdo it. A slow-release 10-10-10 fertilizer in early spring does the trick. Think light brunch—not a bottomless mimosa situation.

(And if you don’t know what those numbers mean, don’t worry—I barely do either. There’s a post somewhere that explains it. HERE it is!)

8. Slugs: The Hostile Invaders

Slugs love hostas more than we do. Start your defense early—crushed eggshells, copper tape, or pet-safe bait can help. And yes, putting out a shallow dish of beer does work. The slugs get drunk and disappear. Honestly, not kidding 

9. Give Them Some Friends

Hostas don’t mind the spotlight, but they shine even more with companions. Try ferns, coral bells, or bleeding hearts nearby. In my last garden, I had room for a whole hosta party. In this one? It’s a solo act. A very dramatic solo act.

10. Play with Texture (Even if You’re Lazy)

Hostas come in all shapes, sizes, and shades. Big blues, teeny mouse-ear varieties, bold variegated ones… mix and match. Even just two kinds next to each other can look like you actually planned something.

Bonus Complaint: THE BUNNIES

Last year, the bunnies treated my hostas like a gourmet buffet. Chewed them down to the nubs. This year, I’m trying Bobbex spray. It’s supposed to be eco-friendly, pet-safe, and bunny-repelling. Fingers crossed. If not, my next DIY will be a scarecrow. 

So That’s It, Friend.

Ten-ish things to do (or at least think about doing) before your hostas completely take over. Honestly, these plants are so forgiving, even if you forget a step or two (or five), they’ll probably still look fabulous.

OH!! One more thing about hostas…those tall flowers can be cut off and used in flowers arrangements. They are beautiful fillers! 

If you’ve got a favourite variety, a slug or bunny trick, or just want to complain about your garden pests—drop it in the comments. Misery loves company. And so do hostas.